When I began my Diploma in Professional Studies placement in Interior Design, I walked in with one question in my mind:
How can I be valuable to them?
I didn’t think about what I needed. I didn’t think about whether the company would be right for me. I thought only about how I could contribute, impress, and prove myself.
I wanted to be beneficial to my employer. I wanted to show that I was hardworking, committed, and capable.
What I didn’t expect was that this year would teach me more about self-worth than about design.
The Beginning: Hope and Pressure
Like many interns, I entered the placement slightly unsure but eager. I was new to professional practice. I was learning. That is what internships are for ,to learn, to develop, to make mistakes safely.
But from early on, something felt off.
I was told my time management wasn’t strong enough. That I wasn’t working independently enough. That tasks weren’t being completed to the expected level.
Yet I was punctual. Often, I arrived before the shop even opened. I showed up consistently. I tried to absorb everything.
When I was given four hours to research and develop creative concepts — as someone still new, still figuring things out — it felt overwhelming. Research takes time. Creativity takes time. Learning takes time.
Especially when you are still understanding what you are doing.
I began to question myself constantly.
Was I too slow?
Was I not good enough?
Was I failing at something everyone else found easy?
The Shock of Being Let Go
Then, without what felt like a clear opportunity to improve, I was fired.
There was no structured feedback plan. No step-by-step guidance on how to improve. No “let’s try again.” No real conversation about development.
Just an ending.
I felt betrayed. I felt blindsided. I felt like I had been made out to be incompetent almost foolish , instead of inexperienced.
The hardest part wasn’t losing the job.
It was feeling like I had not been given the chance to grow.
What They Didn’t See
They didn’t see the mental pressure of balancing part-time work alongside placement.
They didn’t see the exhaustion of trying to meet expectations while still learning from scratch.
They didn’t see the anxiety of wanting to do everything perfectly.
Balancing work life and part-time employment is extremely difficult. Sometimes it is not fully in your control. When you feel overwhelmed, there is only so much you can do — reduce hours, sacrifice rest, push yourself harder.
But pushing yourself harder does not always produce better creativity. Sometimes it produces burnout.
And burnout looks like “poor time management” from the outside.
The Lesson I Didn’t Expect
For a while, I internalised everything. I thought maybe I truly wasn’t capable.
But reflection changed that.
The biggest lesson I learned was this:
Communication is everything.
If something feels unclear, confirm it in writing.
If expectations are vague, ask for specifics.
If feedback is general, ask for measurable examples.
If something doesn’t feel right document it!
Send that reaffirming email. Clarify your tasks. Clarify deadlines. Clarify what “good” looks like.
Silence can cost you.
A Shift in Values
At the beginning of my DPS year, I believed something very strongly:
I am beneath the employer. I must prove my worth.
Now I see it differently.
Yes, there is hierarchy in companies. But workflow depends on employees. Designers, interns, assistants — we are the backbone of creative production.
Without employees producing thoughtful work, there is no business.
So why did I think so little of myself?
Why did I believe I should simply accept everything without question?
This experience changed my values.
I no longer believe that being an employee means shrinking yourself.
I no longer believe that being new means accepting poor communication.
I no longer believe that hierarchy equals superiority.
Good companies grow their people. They guide them. They correct them constructively. They don’t leave them in the dark.
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